Author: Chelsea Sioxson Laxa, Executive Director & Founder
I have been teaching children's dance classes for close to 15 years, and I can tell you that the first day of class is always unpredictable. Some children love it; some children appear terrified by it. As much as I try to make everyone feel welcomed and comfortable, there are a lot of factors at hand: New environment, new teacher, new peers, new routine, etc. It can be extremely intimidating for both the child and the parent.
The one thing to remember is you are not alone.
Fear and anxiety during your child's first dance class are actually quite common and can be exhibited in a variety of ways. At this point, I've seen it all: the little one who sits against the wall and refuses to participate, the child who clings on to the parent for dear life for the entire 30 minutes, and the parent who leaves right away to watch through the window as their child cries in the corner for the majority of the class period. As the teacher, I can sense tension, embarrassment, worry, and even anger in many parents after a tough first day. My biggest piece of advice? Come back again next week. As much as it hurts me to see the tears and hear the agonizing screams, the thing that breaks my heart the most is when families give up on the dance class and never return to give it another chance.
For most children, especially those who may have a disability or other special needs, constant exposure and repetition are ESSENTIAL when trying to learn a new skill or becoming accustomed to a new environment. Even if the child is not participating in class, they are familiarizing themselves with the songs, the room itself, and the other students. But this process takes time! Some children are able to adjust and join in after only a week. For others, it can take up to a month to get used to everything, and even then, their participation may still be very limited. It's a different experience for everyone.
What can you do to help them adjust?
There are a lot of different strategies I use to help new students become accustomed to dance class. It's important to remember that what works for one child may not work for another. It's all about trial and error. Whether you are a parent or an educator, I encourage you to always be optimistic and open to trying new things.
Prep them before class
In the hours, days, and/or week(s) before dance class, remind your child about what they will be doing. Read books where the main character is dancing or taking a dance class. Search for developmentally appropriate videos on YouTube or other media sources. Download some free apps. Have your own "dance class" at home! I've had many parents come up to me and ask for the names of the songs we use in class so that they can use the playlist at home. Then, when the time comes to go to the studio, you can remind them that it's just like dance class with mommy/daddy.
Offer a preferred item/activity after the dance class
"First we have dance, then we'll eat ice cream!" If dance isn't their favorite activity at the moment, give them something else to look forward to. Some may see this as a bribe. I call it positive reinforcement. Hopefully, they'll begin to actually like dance class so you can fade out the additional reward later.
Utilize comfort items
On the days when you have dance class, have them pick out their favorite shirt to wear. If able to, some parents even go out and buy new outfits just for dance class. You just need something to make your child feel like dance class is a special occasion. Speak with your teacher and see if they are okay with your child bringing in their favorite "blankie" or Peppa Pig stuffed animal.
Bring a friend!
Siblings and familiar peers are often a great source of motivation. If your child sees someone else they know in dance class, they feel more comfortable and in control of the new environment.
Give them some space.
For most parents, it's extremely difficult to leave their child crying in a new environment. But honestly, sometimes the best thing you can do is leave the room and watch from afar. The phrase "out of sight, out of mind" rings true in this situation. I've been in classes where the child is so focused on their parent coddling and trying to comfort them that they don't even pay any attention to the actual dancing. In behavior therapy, we have what is called an "extinction burst." According to this theory, "it gets worse before it gets better." As soon as mom or dad leaves the room, the crying child will probably cry louder and with more intensity. As a parent, this is probably the hardest thing to watch. But don't give in right away! Hopefully you have a teacher who tries their best to engage the child and comfort them. Soon enough, class will be over and you can run to your little one and give them as many hugs and kisses as you want. Then they start to learn that mommy/daddy will always come back after dance classes. If you continue with this method every week, you'll hopefully see that the amount of time spent crying will gradually decrease.
Never give up after the first class!
If these strategies don't work after a few weeks, maybe it's time to try a different style of dance. If the same type of class is offered by a different instructor, maybe your child will respond better to their teaching style. Some children were meant to be ballerinas, others are more drawn to break dancing or gymnastics. Or maybe dance just isn't their thing at all. So find another creative outlet to pursue! Whether you enroll them in a sports camp, karate class, or art lesson, the strategies I've mentioned above are all applicable. But never give up after the first class!
Remember, if at first you don't succeed, dance, dance, again!